About This Is Fifty With Lil

Hmm, let me think... Yes, begin with an introduction: I am Lil. This is my blogger name and that should do for now. There is a slightly outdated About Me page where you can learn a bit more about me. If you are new and not yet had the time to become more familiar with all the ins and outs of blogging, a highlighted (sometimes underlined) word (or words) can be right clicked once to link to a website or page. Right click ---> HERE <--- now. That should take you to my About Me page.

Huh, let me see... If you've arrived at the About Me tab, from the menu bar on my web page, you may be wondering what this The Sadness *Wellness* Watch 2015 tab is all about. That was a page created to note progress made when my doctor and I were working to improve my mental wellness. Time constraints... and you know, life... sort of got in the way of my updating how things were going. I'm good; saw my doctor today and he noted that we are on the right track. He returned my med management/wellness visits back to four yearly visits. This is very good. I am very pleased with his decision.

So there's a bit about me. Aside from this blog, I also have a much neglected Tumblr page. I'm pretty sure I also have a Wordpress page. I also have YouTube and SoundCloud channels. Someday, I hope to do more on these sites. But for now BlogHer is where I'm most at ease writing and November NaBloPoMo is a manageable goal in my effort to return to fulfilling the above mentioned creative pursuits.

More later. Now, your turn. What's your story?

Time?

My watch must be dead...

...because it's been tooth-hurty all day.

Thank you very much, I'm here all week... err, unless I'm at the dentist.

A Memory

It’s late. It is much later than when this blog post was expected to have been written. The plan was for something – at least a rough draft – to be done by noon. But, you know, life.

This wasn’t the best day, although, it wasn’t terrible. It was busy with errands to be done and appointments met. I got the errands part done: recyclables turned it for cash - forty dollars, not bad; grocery store for a couple of bottles lavender lemonade that I’m addicted to at the moment; made a quick stop at Cost Plus World Market… I love that place! I needed one of those long, wooden handle dish scrubbers. Wish I would have had more time to browse around the store being as I had some “me” spending money; finally, my daughter and I swung by Sprouts Market for a few things that I like to from there. That was my morning.  Oh, I forgot, stopped at the car wash. Man, my car was dirty… California, drought. A new normal.

We were back home with only enough time for me to make my mom a diabetic (type 2) friendly three bean salad and have a quick lunch of banana and water. A bad tooth made me miserable the entire day. Mom was happy to see my daughter and receive the food I prepared for her. Zooming from her place to get to my appointment was fruitless. Road work and red stop lights prevented a timely arrival. I had to reschedule. This was the not-so-great part of my day. This was a rare occurrence so I was kind to myself and did my best to not let it get to me. Now, despite the fact that I got a bit turned around and backwards trying to get on the right road back toward my end of town – there seemed to road construction at every turn – I manage to let that go too. I found my way back onto a familiar road and all was well.

I did arrive on time to pick up my son from work mid-way between Palm Springs and our end of the valley, then off we went back to the house. One more outing to pick up my husband from his appointment and turn right back around to head home to make dinner... check. Rehashing my day here leaves me exhausted. I just took some heavy duty pain meds that I got from a recent emergency room visit when I was there with this aching tooth a few weeks ago. I hope it helps me get a decent night sleep. I'm seriously considering staring a Go Fund Me page with the hope of raising money to help pay for necessary dental treatment. We don't have dental insurance, and unable to handle financial burden. So for now it is soft foods and liquid supplements.

Now, about that memory. Today is November 4^th. It has been exactly three years to the day when I was hospitalized for an emotional breakdown. I was expecting this memory to put a wrench in my day, but in all actuality, I'm doing fine. There is no greater trauma in all my life that could compare to that day. It’s actually somewhat fuzzy in my brain, but believe me, I have had some utterly devastating moments that I wish I could forget. The fourteen days of my hospitalization served a purpose and got me back on my way to the normal that is managing life with bipolar disorder and the chronic pain caused by fibromyalgia. The days that lead up to that day were the culmination of hardship that comes with long term joblessness, which resulted in my family becoming homeless. A humbling desperate call to family in California from the home in Colorado where we lived for nearly 10 years to ask relatives if they could take us in set us on a long, soul crushing journey that left us numb.

Today, we find ourselves still in recovery mode. We are in a rental in a quiet neighborhood. There is food and all the comforts that come with a steady income. The days of dealing with the stress that came when we had to decide between groceries, fuel, and utilities have passed. Today, there is no more despair. Today, there is wellness and peace of mind. Today there is the ability to tackle life’s small inconveniences that my come my way.

Today was a good day.  

Images By L Carilo ~ Up

Sometimes I like to take pictures of stuff. This is one of my favorites...

Up
Image by L. Carilo

Kitchen: Accomplished!

Pasta, Pasta, Pasta!
Image by L Carilo, November 2015

Accomplished? More like accomplished-ish. And at 10:57 PM I’d say that’s good enough. This week’s task is to ready the kitchen for holiday cooking. It’s going well. The key to success is to remain focused, while also taking care to not overdo it. This means lots of breaks and asking for help when the body is not up to the task at hand.

The kitchen is clear of cookware and dishes from tonight’s pasta dinner. Things… appliances, cooking tools and gadgets, are finding their place for use in the coming weeks. All that’s left is wiping counters and stove top, storing pots and pans, and finally, it shall be off to bed for me.

Alarm set for another day.

"You Do You, Mom."

It was after dinner and before the sun had set behind the Santa Rosa Mountains range when I realized it was November 1st. Am I up to even giving NaBloPoMo a go, I wondered. October effort ended as soon as it began, with only one blog post the entire month. In fact, today is the first time that I've logged on to a computer since October 2nd.

Glancing down to check the time just now and discovering that it is only 9:59 PM convinced me to give November blogging a try. So here I am and it may as well be midnight, although, I'm usually up way past midnight... Rambling. Here I am, sitting in front of an over-sized, brightly lit screen on this giant 17" laptop that I borrowed from my husband and wondering where to start.

Just noticed double spaces after each period. I learned to type in the olden days... 1970s. I've heard this practice is frowned upon to the point of ridicule these days. Need to go back and fix that... Rambling.

I mentioned to my son that I was thinking about participating in NaBloPoMo for BlogHer, but that I had no idea what to write about today. "I might just type out a bunch of random words.", I said. To which my son reassured, "You do you, Mom. You. Do. You."

COLORFUL CANDIES
Image by L. Carilo, November 2015

November has arrived in my sandy, arid corner of the world, and the first day of the month coinciding with end of Daylight Saving Time - a short, well spent Sunday. The only drawback was the mid-day temperature outside... 90 degrees here in the Southern California desert.

I love November. One of those reasons is the close of daylight saving time, I love nightfall arriving earlier and earlier as we get nearer to year's end. I just wish it got a bit colder - okay, a lot colder. There is so much to look forward to this month: family time, special birthdays, Thanksgiving... but first, let's see where tomorrow leads.

Boxes and Jars and Protein, Oh My!

Some days all I have in me is just enough energy to boil some water, cook a box of tri-color rotini, heat up a jar of alfredo sauce, and chop up leftover rotisserie chicken, then combine them all in drained pasta pot and call out to everyone, "Dinner"

Dig in!

#BlogHerFood15... Are you ready for this!

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