"You Do You, Mom."

It was after dinner and before the sun had set behind the Santa Rosa Mountains range when I realized it was November 1st. Am I up to even giving NaBloPoMo a go, I wondered. October effort ended as soon as it began, with only one blog post the entire month. In fact, today is the first time that I've logged on to a computer since October 2nd.

Glancing down to check the time just now and discovering that it is only 9:59 PM convinced me to give November blogging a try. So here I am and it may as well be midnight, although, I'm usually up way past midnight... Rambling. Here I am, sitting in front of an over-sized, brightly lit screen on this giant 17" laptop that I borrowed from my husband and wondering where to start.

Just noticed double spaces after each period. I learned to type in the olden days... 1970s. I've heard this practice is frowned upon to the point of ridicule these days. Need to go back and fix that... Rambling.

I mentioned to my son that I was thinking about participating in NaBloPoMo for BlogHer, but that I had no idea what to write about today. "I might just type out a bunch of random words.", I said. To which my son reassured, "You do you, Mom. You. Do. You."

COLORFUL CANDIES
Image by L. Carilo, November 2015

November has arrived in my sandy, arid corner of the world, and the first day of the month coinciding with end of Daylight Saving Time - a short, well spent Sunday. The only drawback was the mid-day temperature outside... 90 degrees here in the Southern California desert.

I love November. One of those reasons is the close of daylight saving time, I love nightfall arriving earlier and earlier as we get nearer to year's end. I just wish it got a bit colder - okay, a lot colder. There is so much to look forward to this month: family time, special birthdays, Thanksgiving... but first, let's see where tomorrow leads.

Sadness Watch 2015

Trust me, this is gonna have a good ending. Stick with me. I'm 50. I'm a daughter. I'm a sister. I'm a wife. I'm a mother. These things are good.  Except when things are not-so-good.

My last What's Happening Twitter update was:

1. Lillian Carilo ‏@lcarilo  26m26 minutes ago

   It's @Swiffer time.

The Retweet before that was:

1. Lillian Carilo ‏@lcarilo  30m30 minutes ago

   Lillian Carilo retweeted John Green

   Happy So Glad You're You Day @johngreen! Oh, and Happy #FriendshipDay to you & your, probably, also awesome friends.

   Lillian Carilo added,

   John Green @johngreen
   

   Happy Paper Towns movie release day, Germany! (And probably some other places.)

You may be wondering, "Who is John Green and what makes he and, probably, his friends so awesome?"  Go here & here & here & here to link to John Green stuff.

Stuff that's been on my mind is how I'm not doing anything constructive or creative at the moment. Just kind of like on auto-pilot. So, I'm Swiffering the hardwood floor, feeling unusual degree of sadness, and I'm thinking, I should blog about this.  It's not Mental Health Awareness season... at least I don't think so.  It's just a time when I am finally able to deal with elevated... depression symptoms.  See what happened there?  I said trust me, right? #ebbandflow, baby.

~~~~~

This blog post interrupted for text messaging with out of town husband.

~~~~~

Okay. Now, I'm swiffering the floor and thinking about this cool guy on the internet and then the husband interrupts my blogging and all these things come together in my brain... probably, with (because of?) new meds that doctor prescribed.  Yeah, that's probably it... not. Anyway, I think, "I have to set up a Sadness *Wellness* Watch 2015 page." Yeah.

This is my intro to that page ( link here ). If you're 50 (or not); if you're a daughter (or son); if you have family, friends, pets, a job, hobbies & interests, it then makes sense to be able to appreciate all these things - because these things are good.  Except when things are not-so-good... or more aptly, seem not-so-good. That's the time to say something; do something.

The SADNESS *WELLNESS* WATCH 2015 Page

Stuck? Stuck. Stuck!

Well, this is an unwelcome turn of events... I don't know where I'm going here.  I wonder what this photograph was supposed to show.  I don't know.

Whaaaa?
Image by L Carilo, May 2015

All Day Long

Life as I know it: Some days one must take the time to allow moments to pass.

Waiting...

The Face of  Bipolar Disorder and more
Image by L Carilo May 2015

A Two Minute Post

Ready... 11:55pm... Go!

Umm...

Hmmm, what to write?  Oh, thanks for the comments on yesterday's stress-post.

Ah! One minute.  Plan for my #SizzlingSaturday2015 series of This Is Fifty With Lil YouTube channel vlogs fell by the wayside... not enough time in the day.

It was another hot day, which meant driver's misery for me.  Still dealing with ant problem.

Super tired.

Good night.

Lil

One last thing:  I think this month's NaBloPoMo theme is PHOTO?  Here ya go...

Fire Ant Woes
Image by Lillian Carilo May 2,  2015

I Am Not Going To Pretend

I'm not gonna pretend to know what the fuck is going on at the mo.  I've been busy dealing with goddamn ants.  Almost immediately after moving into this rental, fire ants decided to stake their claim on the place.  They were here first, after all.  The way these annoying pests prove they rule over this property, is that no matter how often you wipe counters, cabinets, and sweep and mop floors, or try to eliminate them with bug spray, they creep out of cracks and crevices and take over someone's bedroom, the living room, but mostly the kitchen.  This persistent problem has made me cranky and anxious.  No, what's happened is these ants have turned me into an angry monster.  As soon as one of these little suckers make their presence I'm reminded how depressing living here is for me.  Today was especially horrible because not only were ants constantly present - again, no matter how free of food areas are - the weather sucked the life out of me.  100+ degree temps and I do not get along well at all. Frequent outings throughout the day requiring me to go in and out of low-oven temp car were a bitch.

"It's Too Hot!"
Image by Lillian Carilo, May 2015

It's 11:16 pm, almost 10 hours since I first had to deal with ants in the kitchen, and only a couple of hours when I was forced to go out to Home Depot for "bug barrier" spray to use in the bedroom where my son and dogs sleep... it better work... and cleared off the kitchen counters to spray them down.  Ants piss me off, bug sprays choke my airways, and chemicals in sprays make me worry the dogs might have adverse reaction upon inhaling the stuff.  Probably needless to say, I'm in a super bad mood.

Damn ants put a crimp in recording of a new video for This Is Fifty With Lil's YouTube channel Five On Friday feature.  Ants suck.

Bed time.

sigh

Wait!  Breaking news... A baby!?  Seems The Royal Family is about to have tiny little new member in it's midst.  Duchess of Cambridge, Catherine, is in early stages of labor according to the news.  I love babies.  Congratulations on the arrival of a little prince or princess, William, Kate & big brother, George.

#RoyalBabyWatch

February... Made.

February was good, yes?

I think this month's BlogHer NaBloPoMo theme prompts have been my favorite so far.  MAKE opened up my head to so many possibilities; limitations reminded me to try to MAKE the best of things, because there are times when I must quietly relinquish control and peacefully accept that most days I can only do so much.  Chronic illness can be an enormous pain, both literally and figuratively.  Throw in lengthy bouts of weakness, and that sums up my February.

On the flip side, February 2015 has been a month of discovery.  In attempt to "make" stuff, I've discovered that I still am able to develop untapped skills, and as a result, have a new favorite pastime.  I hope visitors to my blog have enjoyed my early works of digital illustrations.

Follow My March Story, it shall continue on the same vein where February ends... discovery.

A request:  Please, keep this BlogHer blogger/YouTube vlogger and her family in your thoughts.  I welcome your support and encouragement as we search for a place to live.  We must vacate this rental by March 29.  Our budget is tight; finances strained.  Rents are very high, and homes very old in this area.  So, if you can imagine a place where a family of three, and two dogs can live a safe, comfortable and quiet life without the threat of homelessness, again, looming overhead; a place where we can also accommodate our college age children while they are on summer break from school; a place that has been well kept and cared for, where we have access to safe-to-drink tap water, has adequate storage, and proper windows for opening to enjoy pleasant weather when desert temperatures are comfortable to tolerable, and ample grassy area for our dogs.  This shall be greatly appreciated.  Thank you.

May Abundance and Good Fortune be awaiting us in the very near future, and serenity fill and soothe our weary souls.

March 2015... welcome.

Grateful for the roof over our heads which was provided in effort to
relieve homelessness endured by my family from Oct 2012 through Feb 2013.

A random - yet lengthy (10 min) - You Tube vlog from February 2015

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