This Is Fifty With Lil's 2015 Year End Wrap-Up

My year end vlog blog...

See you next year.

And The Countdown Begins

Here we go...

December 2015. If all goes as planned, in just a few short weeks we will be closing out the year with a Carilo Family Marvel Movie Marathon; a New Year's Eve dinner of Salmon, wild rice, Hoppin' John, and spinach salad with warm bacon dressing.  Good Times.

A Home Not Our Own

An excerpt from A HOME NOT OUR OWN from November 25, 2015:

Today, I contemplate how grateful I am that the homeowner of this house accepted our lease application last Spring, and that this rental was available for immediate move in. Had another week passed we would have been homeless... again. Relief that that was not the case.

Although still in a home not our own, it's nice to feel safe and warm.

Take care, be well, good night and sweet dreams.

Prepping and Baking and Chopping, Oh My! ~ A Thanksgiving Haiku

The oven is on.

A cutting board sits ready.

Prepping for long night.

Let The Baking Begin!

I mentioned yesterday that I'd tell my story from last year about our neighbor, a raccoon, a koi pond, and cuckoo accusations. But, I don't have time for that tonight. So, instead, this...

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Measure and combine in food storage bag the dry ingredients: flour, salt, baking powder; ground cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg & cloves. Shake bag.

Measure and combine in large mixing bowl; sugar, oil, eggs, vanilla extract, and pureed pumpkin. Spoon mix.

In large bowl with wet ingredients, add dry ingredients from storage bag. Mix well.

Lightly grease baking dish. Pour pumpkin mixture in dish. Place in pre-heated oven. Set timer for 50 minutes. Done when inserted toothpick comes out clean.

I know, this is your basic, everyday pumpkin bread recipe that everyone makes around this time of year. My son prefers this recipe - nothing too complicated.

Tomorrow, I'm making it my favorite version... adding chopped walnuts, semi-sweet chocolate chips & chopped dates. Yum.

Christmas Cards, Oh, Christmas Cards...

Does anyone really want to receive season's greetings via snail mail anymore? Have we really ever liked the whole idea of sending and receiving Christmas cards? Well, I guess I do, or did. In recent years, the few I find in the mailbox during the holidays do put a smile on my face. But, I'm still not exactly sure if I'm just going to end up doing this again. But just for kicks, let's go back in time, to another blog, and...

Take A Letter
(An excerpt.)

In the olden days, you know, back in the 20th century, December 10th was the day I mailed hand signed & addressed Christmas cards.  When we moved out of state, and our kids were still little, I did the ol' holiday letter with photos thing. Well, today is the 10th and no cards... I haven't even bought any, plus I only have about 5 postage stamps.  These days we're within a few miles from both sides of our family, so a letter seems a bit much.  Anyway, what do you write that hasn't been communicated via text or Facebook on a near daily basis.  Hmmm, what to do for 2014 2015.

Okay, here's a quick set-up:

1. Begin with gorgeous/elegant/whimsical/comical/sparkly seasonal stationary w/ matching envelopes.  And, don't forget special holiday themed postage stamps.
2. Next decide on a font.  Comic Sans where have you been all my life! Oh, wait... there's a curly-cuey elf style font?  Let me at it!
3. Greeting:  [Greeting? Greeting?  How do I open this thing?  Must be catchy.  Must say, "Read ME!"]  "Hey," sounds about right, yes?
4. Body:  [Flashy update of 2014 goings on at The Place... dogs included.  Maybe include story about neighbor/raccoon absurdity.* Keep it clean & funny.]
5. Closing: [Jolly... SOMETHING JOLLY, FOR GOD'S SAKE!]

Here we go!  Oh, pretend it's on snazzy stationary and in clever font style.

*****

Greetings!

ICYMI... 2014 a la Carilo!

The Hubs? He's juuust greaat. No really. Consumed by handcrafted holiday ornament making for several weeks now, so try not to bother him.

The Typist, aka Driver? She finds herself way behind on her dvr watching. Commercials on some programming still have Halloween theme! Near tears on weeknights trying to come to terms with Colbert Report ending and Craig Ferguson leaving The Late Late Show.

Bookstore Boy? Twenty-two years later, still hasn't lost the ability to talk and talk and talk and talk his mom's ears off! Also, right there with mom, behind on favorite t.v. shows.

College Girl? It snowed today!! Lucky.

Miss Creativity? [Please, no questions.]

And so it goes. This letter would arrive at your mailbox in a festive greeting card - see above. Of course, I could e-mail it, but sorry, not much time for that as I am busy watching last night's @CraigyFerg. So, here it is in the old blog. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Have a Happy New Year!

The Carilos... but mostly Lil

PS Shadow and Sombra say, "WOOF!"

I took this photo.  It's from where we lived before
moving to southern California desert;
it makes me homesick.

PPS Decided not to "go there" about the neighbors, 'tis not the season for such unpleasantries.

*****

* Oh, and you can bet your sweet bippy that I'll be telling you the "story about neighbor/raccoon absurdity." Maybe I'll write about it tomorrow.

I'm This Mom

I'm the mom who believes what you think about you bring about. My daughter is fulfilling student-teaching requirement for teaching certification this semester. She is a senior double majoring in early childhood education and religious studies and will be graduating college next May. Her family is very proud of her and looking forward to attending her graduation in the Spring. I've heard it's beautiful in Vermont that time of year.

So what I'm thinking about is that we sure could use some help to start my daughter on her way. With this in mind, I have started a PlumFund campaign to raise money for whatever needs she may have upon graduation and beyond. Here are a few words that I have shared on her fundraising campaign:

"At age 3, when asked what she was going to be when she grew up, she answered: a mommy, a ballerina, and a teacher. Today she is a senior in early childhood education studies.

As she's grown, her determination has not wavered; her vision unobscured no matter what. She persevered and achieved academic success with sincere, purposeful intentions.

In preparation for leap into adulthood, please help us create a solid foundation to start our girl on her way so that she may flourish as she begins life anew as an elementary school teacher. Thank you."

That Time I Posted This...

... over on A How-To Guide.

I've updated and posted here because every once in a while it seems to me that with practice I could be a pretty good storyteller. Anyway, come back with me to October 10, 2014.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Crunch

Crunch, crunch, CRUNCH!  Aaaah, my tooth! It was one of my molars... actually, two molars. Since moving back to the desert, this has happened more than once.  And, yes, twice is way too many times. Also, if you count the fact that this happened on two separate areas of the same tooth, well.  What is this that I am going on about?  Hear me out, because I'd love to share my favorite crunchy foods, and maybe compare notes, until then, this.

First of all, keep in mind that I've always feared going to the dentist.  I'm old... 50, so consider the fact that when I was having a mouthful of cavities filled as a little kid things were a bit... hmmm, creepy.  The dentist - a heavy smoker and coffee drinker, therefore gross smelling with horrendous breath; his waiting room - painted orange, green & really orange; the examination chair - designed for grown ups, not tiny third graders; the giant overhead lamps - that left me walking around with spots in front of my eyes on the bus rides home; the entire ball of wax, made for a miserable day.  To make matters worse, my 3rd grade teacher (she'll be mentioned again in the "crunchy" part of this post) even kept my appointments marked for every other Wednesday on the class calendar.  Wednesdays were spelling test days, and I'm pretty sure I was the best speller in class.  That calendar was directly over my desk. Fun, right?

So, there's that. Now, super-fast forward... "huuuuh".  That's supposed to be me quietly moaning. I'm in Colorado.  My family's dental needs are in the best of hands... until insurance benefits cease as a result of husband's job loss in 2007. Oh, and again when money was super tight in 2010 - long story.  It was during those rough periods that my body decided to have some sort of intolerably painful episode every now and then.  Twice it was my mouth causing the problem, but nothing a super expensive emergency extraction at the hands of a competent oral surgeon couldn't fix. Two separate occasions; two different doctors, and that was that.

Fast forward again. This time to 2012.  News junkie that I am, I have CNN on while I waste the evening away on Twitter.  Just like now, but not really; I used to follow a lot more news outlets. So this was me one night:  Hey, Jeremy Jojola from 9News Denver is tweeting story about some guy and his evil, despicable (my words) dental practices."  Hmmm, name sounds familiar. Oh, god!  What did he do?  When!  I've been to that guy's office.  He pulled my tooth!  He's done what?  A few days later: A letter.  Heart sinks. Something about if I'd been to this doctor during such and such time, I may have been exposed to HIV, HepB and/or HepC. Get tested. Call here for more info.  Me, furious; frightened.  Did I mention furious.  I was so glad I followed 9News and Jeremy, and vise versa.  I was able to have a reliable ear at a moment's notice. Everyone at the news station was great keeping me posted on what was happening with the investigation into allegations that this terrible person was putting patients at risk of infection due to the practice of reusing syringe needles... which cost only cents!  Eight hundred people received the same letter that I did. At that point we were reeling from nearly two-year long joblessness and a short few months away from losing our home, and all I could think was how was I supposed to pay for whatever cost might result from the whole thing.  Depression hit an all-time low. At least the County waived most of cost to get tested.  A week later; all clear. Whew! Fun, right?  NOT

Next jump in this timeline.  October: Can you spare a room, or two?  Our family, homeless. And for me, a hospital stay; thirteen days.  What did I do the entire stay? I munched on cup after styrofoam cup of crushed ice.

Another jump.  February: A house... The Place.  My family was together again after having been taken in by relatives.  All I wanted was to find some sort of normalcy now that my husband was working and we were okay.  One thing I wanted to do as soon as possible was to re-establish healthy eating habits.  What was I eating? Frozen fruit with yogurt every morning. Munch, munch, munch. Mmmm. CRUNCH! "huuuuh."  Whew! Only a piece of cracked molar that was more filling than tooth.  Still no dental benefits; I had to hope sensitivity in the area would be minimal. It was fine; I could tolerate it. Months later, tacos! Crunch, crunch, crunch, CRACK! Aaaaghhh... PAIN! I weeded through a mouthful of spit-out crispy chicken taco to discover a huge chunk of broken off filling and enamely bits.  Still no dental insurance, all I could do was be as careful as possible to keep from chewing food on the left side of my mouth.  That took some getting used to - both the pain, and chewing on the right side. Not too long after that incident,  mmmm... chewy steak. (Remind me to never again order steak at Applebee's, okay?). Chew, chew, chew, chew... crunch. Spit. Wow! A gaping hole with sharp edges at gum line. Yep, there went the other half of the molar on the left. *sigh*

I've since gotten used to all the gaping holes in my mouth, both from the extracted molars and the ones that have bits broken off.  And every now and then I will enjoy a yummy, crunchy snack, as well as make crispy crunchy tacos or nachos.  Here are some of my best memories of crunchy favorites.

• Once in elementary school, my 3rd grade teacher took a bunch of us "smart" kids to the Griffith Park Observatory (otherwise known, in my book, as the best field trip ever), but before that she had us over for dinner.  I don't remember anything that was served that evening, except one thing - celery.  Fancy celery. It was cut in four-inch length sticks, and the curved well was filled with some sort of creamy stuff and that was topped with raisins.  All of us little inner-city Mexican children were at a loss.  I'm pretty sure we all tried the fancy celery; I'm pretty sure we all hated the fancy celery too.  Nonetheless, that was a very fun day.
• I'm not a fan of apples. Don't hate me, please.  Truth: I wasn't a fan of apples... until I had a Honeycrisp apple.  I try to buy a few anytime I find them in a grocery store produce section; kinda expensive, but totally worth it.  So good out of the refrigerator... crispy & crunchy. Yum!
• I can't resist a delicious corn tortilla taco shell that's been filled with shredded chicken or beef. I even made a terribly produced taco-making video that I posted on my YouTube channel.  Tacos were great; video, not so much.  I'll have to remember to brush my hair and wear tinted lip balm at the very least next time.  But I won't make any promises.

I now try to keep from eating, therefore enjoying, kettle-cooked potato chips, granola topping on my yogurt, Almond Roca candy, and  assorted crunchy foods. But the major bummer - mostly because I'm pretty sure it's the reason why the structural integrity of tooth enamel was compromised - is that I can no longer mindlessly munch on refreshingly crunchy ice for hours on end.

*****

October 18, 2005:

... And the saga continues. Still no dental insurance means still dealing with crumbling teeth issues. Oh, and this time with pain and sensitivity while eating... anything. Well, actually, I just finished a cup of cream of wheat without much discomfort. I just hope there isn't another E.R. visit. End of Summer I had to wake up the husband at 2am to let him know I was leaving to go to emergency room due to unbearable pain. He decide it was best that he drive me because, after all, I was on the verge of passing out from pain with the slightest of movement. Apparently, according to my husband, some hunky t.v. doctor attended me. When you are in the pain I was in that morning, it could have been Thor and I would not have noticed. Go, IV antibiotics and demerol!

Tune In Tomorrow

November 13, 2015

YouTube channel listing for;

This Is Fifty With Lil

*****

starring L. Carilo

created by L. Carilo

produced by L. Carilo

digital recording by L. Carilo

edited by L. Carilo

food services by L. Carilo

transportation by L. Carilo

wardrobe by L. Carilo

hair & make-up by L. Carilo

On location somewhere in the Southern California desert

*****
Come back tomorrow to see what's up on

THIS IS FIFTY WITH LIL's

 FIVE ON FRIDAY

YouTube Channel vlog.

Think grocery shopping, showing off my new haircut,
shopping for table holiday gifts centerpiece materials,
art from Kid 3's Summer 2015 archives,
and maybe a recipe.

See you then.

Lil

An Excerpt

From A HOW-TO GUIDE ~ November 11, 2014:

In past blog posts I think I've mentioned, or at least tried to convey, the fact that I am an expert at nothing, and any kind of profession is non-existent. Plain and simple, I am a wife and mother who possesses additional skills in typing and driving... not at the same time, of course.

With regard to this blog title, my decision to produce A How-To Guide was based on the idea of advising what not to do. That said, my personal goal to write about life-as-I-knew-it was to put emphasis on how to survive the hell that was the result of long-term unemployment that my family was going through in 2011 and 2012. I'm still posting here, regardless of the fact that there is little to no how-to do anything. I'm hopeful a few helpful how-to posts find their way onto this blog. My sincerest apologies for coming up short so far.

*****

I have a YouTube channel where I vlog called This Is Fifty With Lil. @TI50WL features In The Kitchen With Lil On Wednesdays. Only one has been uploaded, but I do plan to post the few more very soon. I'll update this post for your viewing and constructive criticism. This is all I have for today. It was created specifically with my husband and kids in mind.

NOT SO FUN FACT:

We are now in a different rental;

automatic dishwasher in this house doesn't work either.

What I Did Last Summer

On any given year, this could have been a very short post... two lines, maybe three. However, the same cannot be said for this past Summer, because I actually did something. It was totally unplanned.

As with previous years, it was going to be another dull, slow passing Summer, except with intolerable, sizzling temperatures that suck the life out of me. That's what is called Southern California desert living. Some people LOVE this climate. Also, those people are bananas... fried bananas. I think it's for the birds... or lizards. But what can you do? We became homeless; called on family to take us in. We drove away from our foreclosed home in Colorado knowing exactly what we were in for; we had moved away from this area with no intention of ever moving back here. Live and learn, right?

Anyway, what I did last Summer was got my craft on. I was bored one day and found an empty Duck Tape spool that I just couldn't throw away. An idea struck! I marked the cardboard spool with dots where I wanted my husband to pierce holes in it with an awl. By some miracle, he did not hesitate to fulfill my request. He went right out to the garage and came back with holes perfectly poked out just where I had instructed. This was good. This was unusual.

I have a large kitchen drawer were I keep cellophane wrap, parchment and waxed paper, and aluminum foil, as well as paper and plastic storage bags, random ties, string, and extra long bamboo skewers. I've never had a reason to use these skewers for anything other than arts and crafts projects. Creative juices flowing, I struck out full force to make something... anything. A wheel, maybe? No, a ferris wheel.

A PICTORIAL:

I never would have imagined my little spool holes with sticks in them would result in a backdrop for a friend's COACHELLA FESTIVAL themed birthday party. I was thrilled with my accomplishment and overjoyed that it made my friend so happy... it was exactly what she wanted.

Then I was bored. 

I'm Up! I'm Up!

... I don't want to be up. I don't want to be up.

That's me anytime I must rely on an alarm clock to wake me. This morning's alarm was set for 8:00 AM and I was less than thrilled to have awoken on my own just minutes before scheduled ring-tone sounded off from my cell phone by the bed. I didn't want to get up.

Here's the thing, my Monday mornings are designated do-not-disturb. Unless there's someone who needs to be driven to work or school, I will relish in the luxury that is waking up, rolling over, and falling right back to sleep if that's what my body and mind necessitate.

That wasn't the case today. Today, I had to get up no later than eight o'clock so as to allow a quick shower and enough time to down 36 ounces of water which had to happen one hour before a scheduled imaging appointment. Now, there's no other reason that requires anyone to drink that great amount of water - AND HOLD IT IN - unless it is for some sort of medically necessary procedure; mine was an ultrasound, and that's enough about that.

Problem: I couldn't make it the entire hour. I intentionally left the house early so that I could focus on driving versus temptation of relief down the hall and to the left. Problem: The drive to the imaging center was less than a ten minute drive from home. My thinking at that point was to while away the time on my cell phone until scheduled appointment or until I couldn't keep from wiggling around and with all of my being no longer able to resist racing against time to run into the building and find the nearest restroom.

Oooo... only fifteen minutes left to go! I couldn't wait. I got out of the car which I had purposefully parked a good distance away from the entrance - it's how I squeeze a tiny bit of exercise into my day. Once inside the building, my right foot tapping away at lightning speed, I asked for directions to imagining department. Fortunately that was just behind the reception desk. Hurting and nearing desperation I arrived at the counter to sign in; only 10 minutes to go... before being called up to process. I wasn't going to make it. I had to go NOW.

"Sorry," I said to the woman at the desk. "I'm not going to be able to hold on much longer." My kids could have told her that. They would have told her that I probably deserved a medal for going that long a time on such a great amount of liquid. The technician at the front desk was great. "Right around that corner." she said. "We'll wait while you replenish your fluid intake." "Whew!"Another 16 ounces of water in me and only a few minutes wait before being called into examination room. I made it!

The last time I had to drink so much water and hold it in was right before having ultrasound while pregnant with Kid 3 when we learned it was a she. Well, no, maybe it was a few years ago when I was rushed to E.R. with violent pain that required removal of gallbladder. I like to call it "the time I almost died." No, now that I think about it, I wasn't "drinking" anything that time, IV fluids were doing the job as nurses and doctors prepped me for emergency surgery. That was a frightening experience. I'm hoping cause of whatever the reason for today's procedure is nothing major. For now, I'll wait from the comfort of home... and with an empty bladder.

Lists, Lists! I Gotta Have Lists!

My favorite time of the year has arrived... Autumn. And what does Autumn bring with it? Happy feasts shared with friends and family. But before all that food preparation comes lists. There's a list of lists I need to make:

• List of simple meals for three weeks.
• Things-To-Do planner for week 1, 2, & 3.
• Organize kitchen
• Set aside cookery, serveware, tools & gadgets
• Create Thanksgiving brunch menu

Three weeks out:

• Check nearby grocers ads.
• Search online coupons.
• Visit website of favorite food brands traditionally used in family recipes.
• Niman Ranch bacon coupons
• Martinelli apple cider coupons
• Ben & Jerry's vanilla ice cream coupons
• Redi Whip coupons
• Libby's pure pumpkin puree coupons
• Oceanspray fresh cranberries coupons
• Diamond pecans coupons
• Gharridelli semi-sweet chocolate coupons
• Lindsey olives coupons

Two weeks out:

• Menu
• Egg & Cheese casserole
• Egg & Spinach casserole
• Croissants
• Pumpkin, Pecan pies & whipped cream
• Cranberry sauce
• Roast potatoes
• Stuffing
• Gravy
• Bird
• Orange, Cranberry juices, Perrier, Ginger Ale, Apple Cider

Hmm... what next?

Alert! Alert!

Attention. May I please have your attention.

Blogging on This Is Fifty With Lil has been interrupted due to Twitter going bonkers over freaky glowing something or other with trailing long, blue-green streak that appeared in the sky over Los Angeles, California.

I was napping at the time that this "UFO" sighting occurred, and had not heard or read anything about it until my phone battery was done charging. I always miss the cool stuff when it happens. Thank goodness for Twitter, right?

Anyway, by the time I sat to write tonight's blog post, it was well after 11:30... those UFO videos are pretty cool. But in actuality, it was just a Lockheed built missile that had been test launched from somewhere in Southern California. Apparently these snazzy missiles cost $30 million bucks! You're tax dollars at work, America.

Back to watching more videos.

Tomorrow.

About This Is Fifty With Lil

Hmm, let me think... Yes, begin with an introduction: I am Lil. This is my blogger name and that should do for now. There is a slightly outdated About Me page where you can learn a bit more about me. If you are new and not yet had the time to become more familiar with all the ins and outs of blogging, a highlighted (sometimes underlined) word (or words) can be right clicked once to link to a website or page. Right click ---> HERE <--- now. That should take you to my About Me page.

Huh, let me see... If you've arrived at the About Me tab, from the menu bar on my web page, you may be wondering what this The Sadness *Wellness* Watch 2015 tab is all about. That was a page created to note progress made when my doctor and I were working to improve my mental wellness. Time constraints... and you know, life... sort of got in the way of my updating how things were going. I'm good; saw my doctor today and he noted that we are on the right track. He returned my med management/wellness visits back to four yearly visits. This is very good. I am very pleased with his decision.

So there's a bit about me. Aside from this blog, I also have a much neglected Tumblr page. I'm pretty sure I also have a Wordpress page. I also have YouTube and SoundCloud channels. Someday, I hope to do more on these sites. But for now BlogHer is where I'm most at ease writing and November NaBloPoMo is a manageable goal in my effort to return to fulfilling the above mentioned creative pursuits.

More later. Now, your turn. What's your story?

Time?

My watch must be dead...

...because it's been tooth-hurty all day.

Thank you very much, I'm here all week... err, unless I'm at the dentist.

A Memory

It’s late. It is much later than when this blog post was expected to have been written. The plan was for something – at least a rough draft – to be done by noon. But, you know, life.

This wasn’t the best day, although, it wasn’t terrible. It was busy with errands to be done and appointments met. I got the errands part done: recyclables turned it for cash - forty dollars, not bad; grocery store for a couple of bottles lavender lemonade that I’m addicted to at the moment; made a quick stop at Cost Plus World Market… I love that place! I needed one of those long, wooden handle dish scrubbers. Wish I would have had more time to browse around the store being as I had some “me” spending money; finally, my daughter and I swung by Sprouts Market for a few things that I like to from there. That was my morning.  Oh, I forgot, stopped at the car wash. Man, my car was dirty… California, drought. A new normal.

We were back home with only enough time for me to make my mom a diabetic (type 2) friendly three bean salad and have a quick lunch of banana and water. A bad tooth made me miserable the entire day. Mom was happy to see my daughter and receive the food I prepared for her. Zooming from her place to get to my appointment was fruitless. Road work and red stop lights prevented a timely arrival. I had to reschedule. This was the not-so-great part of my day. This was a rare occurrence so I was kind to myself and did my best to not let it get to me. Now, despite the fact that I got a bit turned around and backwards trying to get on the right road back toward my end of town – there seemed to road construction at every turn – I manage to let that go too. I found my way back onto a familiar road and all was well.

I did arrive on time to pick up my son from work mid-way between Palm Springs and our end of the valley, then off we went back to the house. One more outing to pick up my husband from his appointment and turn right back around to head home to make dinner... check. Rehashing my day here leaves me exhausted. I just took some heavy duty pain meds that I got from a recent emergency room visit when I was there with this aching tooth a few weeks ago. I hope it helps me get a decent night sleep. I'm seriously considering staring a Go Fund Me page with the hope of raising money to help pay for necessary dental treatment. We don't have dental insurance, and unable to handle financial burden. So for now it is soft foods and liquid supplements.

Now, about that memory. Today is November 4^th. It has been exactly three years to the day when I was hospitalized for an emotional breakdown. I was expecting this memory to put a wrench in my day, but in all actuality, I'm doing fine. There is no greater trauma in all my life that could compare to that day. It’s actually somewhat fuzzy in my brain, but believe me, I have had some utterly devastating moments that I wish I could forget. The fourteen days of my hospitalization served a purpose and got me back on my way to the normal that is managing life with bipolar disorder and the chronic pain caused by fibromyalgia. The days that lead up to that day were the culmination of hardship that comes with long term joblessness, which resulted in my family becoming homeless. A humbling desperate call to family in California from the home in Colorado where we lived for nearly 10 years to ask relatives if they could take us in set us on a long, soul crushing journey that left us numb.

Today, we find ourselves still in recovery mode. We are in a rental in a quiet neighborhood. There is food and all the comforts that come with a steady income. The days of dealing with the stress that came when we had to decide between groceries, fuel, and utilities have passed. Today, there is no more despair. Today, there is wellness and peace of mind. Today there is the ability to tackle life’s small inconveniences that my come my way.

Today was a good day.  

Images By L Carilo ~ Up

Sometimes I like to take pictures of stuff. This is one of my favorites...

Up
Image by L. Carilo

Kitchen: Accomplished!

Pasta, Pasta, Pasta!
Image by L Carilo, November 2015

Accomplished? More like accomplished-ish. And at 10:57 PM I’d say that’s good enough. This week’s task is to ready the kitchen for holiday cooking. It’s going well. The key to success is to remain focused, while also taking care to not overdo it. This means lots of breaks and asking for help when the body is not up to the task at hand.

The kitchen is clear of cookware and dishes from tonight’s pasta dinner. Things… appliances, cooking tools and gadgets, are finding their place for use in the coming weeks. All that’s left is wiping counters and stove top, storing pots and pans, and finally, it shall be off to bed for me.

Alarm set for another day.

"You Do You, Mom."

It was after dinner and before the sun had set behind the Santa Rosa Mountains range when I realized it was November 1st. Am I up to even giving NaBloPoMo a go, I wondered. October effort ended as soon as it began, with only one blog post the entire month. In fact, today is the first time that I've logged on to a computer since October 2nd.

Glancing down to check the time just now and discovering that it is only 9:59 PM convinced me to give November blogging a try. So here I am and it may as well be midnight, although, I'm usually up way past midnight... Rambling. Here I am, sitting in front of an over-sized, brightly lit screen on this giant 17" laptop that I borrowed from my husband and wondering where to start.

Just noticed double spaces after each period. I learned to type in the olden days... 1970s. I've heard this practice is frowned upon to the point of ridicule these days. Need to go back and fix that... Rambling.

I mentioned to my son that I was thinking about participating in NaBloPoMo for BlogHer, but that I had no idea what to write about today. "I might just type out a bunch of random words.", I said. To which my son reassured, "You do you, Mom. You. Do. You."

COLORFUL CANDIES
Image by L. Carilo, November 2015

November has arrived in my sandy, arid corner of the world, and the first day of the month coinciding with end of Daylight Saving Time - a short, well spent Sunday. The only drawback was the mid-day temperature outside... 90 degrees here in the Southern California desert.

I love November. One of those reasons is the close of daylight saving time, I love nightfall arriving earlier and earlier as we get nearer to year's end. I just wish it got a bit colder - okay, a lot colder. There is so much to look forward to this month: family time, special birthdays, Thanksgiving... but first, let's see where tomorrow leads.

Boxes and Jars and Protein, Oh My!

Some days all I have in me is just enough energy to boil some water, cook a box of tri-color rotini, heat up a jar of alfredo sauce, and chop up leftover rotisserie chicken, then combine them all in drained pasta pot and call out to everyone, "Dinner"

Dig in!

#BlogHerFood15... Are you ready for this!

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Thoughts From Thursday September 3, 2015

It's been a week and as soon as this post is done I am going into weekend-mode, whatever that is. I've unexpectedly had to use my brain way more that usual the past few days no thanks to health issues and health insurance woes. It's been a roller coaster of a ride arriving to this point since last weekend, and tonight I'm left with this thought in regard to: Concierge Medicine.

 Is this practice even regulated? Do hospitals limit how many concierge physicians they have on staff? All these things I'd like to know, because something doesn't seem right. And, I have more questions but have no idea where to find answers. Mostly, I'd like to know what are the rules of ethics when it comes to concierge medicine?

I heard that term a lot today. I know what it is. If you are familiar with a television show called Royal Pains you'd know what I'm talking about.

A search for a doctor this week required the following: researching insurance coverage and benefits; finding a list of providers who accept my insurance; placing calls to physicians' offices in hopes of finding an open appointment (sooner than later) and establishing care for chronic illness. Oh, and my husband's new-hire insurance paperwork needed to be filled out, and my under 19 year-old daughter's medicaid provider needs be chosen, and I needed to find out if she even still qualified for medicaid based on her dad's significantly increased income from his new job, and I had to map out how to make sure we all had the best possible health insurance coverage, and work out the numbers, and now I have a headache just thinking about how challenging this little task became.

All I wanted to do was find a doctor as soon as possible.  What is worrying me right now are these spots that appeared on my shoulders and have spread across my back, chest and abdomen over the past few days. The spots don't itch or hurt, they just look dodgy because of their random size, texture and shapes. It's really weird and I want to know what exactly is going on.

But, I can't. I can't find out what is going on because... It is too damn hard to find a nearby doctor's office, where they are taking new patients, and will accept my insurance, and if I can make an appointment to take care of these damn spots as soon as possible, not four to six weeks from now. It didn't take long in my search to realize that the first question to ask in this town these days is: Is this a concierge medical practice?

Yep, times now are that if you have the wallet for it you can have members-only medical care*.

Also, there should have been a vlog added to this post but I can't find my camera and tripod. Maybe tomorrow.

*I bet those doctor offices don't smell like pee-pee... or worse.

Mirror, Mirror On The Waa... What IS That!

Oh, mirrors. Do they ever bring good news at my age, I wonder.

I found a few red marks had appeared on my upper chest and shoulder, and thought, "Huh? Bug bites, maybe." Maybe.

Then I found more. And then some of the ones I initially discovered had morphed into different shapes and feel.

I got out the two-sided hand held mirror... the one that has the magnifier. That's never good, right? I wanted to see if there were more of these marks sprouting out anywhere else on my body.

So, I'm fat. Well, fatter. I used to be a stick. Whatever. So, now I'm subjecting myself to having to see myself undressed, BIGGER... it's not pretty... while I scan the old folds for more whatever-they-are. There's more.

It was past midnight when I gave myself a once-over. Oh, I think you know what I did next. Yup... Google!

Tonight I re-examined the old rolls. More spots. And they are still morphing... red raised nicks, flat odd-shaped rough blotches, dry scaly scabby patches. But nothing hurts or itches. They are just there. Multiplying.

I'm thinking about having them checked out tomorrow.

Note to self, and you: No Googling "skin, spots, rashes, blotches" after midnight snack.

August, Out!

It was a hot one. August 2015 that is. Also, it was cruel. I can honestly say that I have never experienced the level of discomfort caused by intense heat from scorching desert temperatures like I did this month. Driving around in a vehicle with malfunctioning air conditioner has been hell. My SUV even suffered from effects of  100+ degree temps. The day that afternoon temperature reached 118 when I had to go out to pick up my son at his job, stop at the grocery store, and get take out for dinner (Like hell I was going to cook!) nearly did me in. My poor car wasn't that lucky. It shut down on us. It was stop and go in the nearby Albertson's parking lot. It only came too with enough power to get us the couple of miles distance to reach home... at about 5 mph speed; a panel of gauges gone haywire from the heat. Did I mention no air conditioning?  We arrived at the house heat stricken, the car caput. No sign of life when I tried to start it up to pull it into the garage. My 50+ year old body is still trying to recover from the trauma. God that was only three days ago! Oh help.

Try not to be an asshole September 2015.*

Let's do this!

*I mean, please play nice.

Taking Things Easy

I fell yesterday.

The Husband and I were sitting down for a talk... a very important talk. Stuff needed to be said, heard, considered, understood. So, what happens? I go sit on bed corner - apparently, still not having adjusted to mattress we had to borrow - and tumble over, tried to break my fall with my right arm, rolled over and my way-too-heavy-for-my-size body slammed onto the carpeted floor. I'm okay I guess, just a little sore, with some swelling at my right hip and twinges at my shoulder, elbow and wrist.

So, I'll be taking things easy for a while.

Later.

Let Me Start By Saying...

... I'm no expert. No, really. There is nothing that I could honestly say that I'm an expert at. I'm okay with that; there are plenty of brilliant minds, accomplished, and creative people out there to fill that bill: Expert   insert expertise here  . Nope, not me. I'm more of a, "Let's see what I can come up with in a pinch."

One thing I will admit is that I am a tryer. (That's not a word, me.) Oh, an even better way of putting it... I'm a failure! A big one. For example: Once attempted to make a layered German chocolate cake from scratch for my husband's birthday; it ended up a tort... a cement tort.

One time, I tried to make delicious bbq ribs... Oh. My. God! I got nowhere near anything consumable, Instructions were, "First, boil ribs." What I didn't do was have a pot large enough to accommodate the segments of ribs I had plans of turning into bbq feast main event. Everything was super tight in the, what I thought was a more than adequate, pot. That pot was filled with water to the brim, ribs where tightly packed in it and lid placed to seal in all the goodness. Thing is, there was no such goodness to be had... the moment I lifted that lid, barbecue over before it began.

The smell in the house was horrible, the burnt-stuck-to-the-bottom-of-the-pot segment of ribs... they never had a chance. I had never seen or smelled anything like it. How does stuff burn while boiling!? I seemed to have nailed that. I was worried I'd never be able to get the stench out of the house. My kids were positive that would never be possible. Way to go with the encouragement, children o' mine.

See, I try. But boy can I fail.

An Assessment

Thinking, thinking, thinking.

How to proceed. I've recognized importance of reestablishing effective self-care, acknowledged need for reassessment of mental wellness, and took action to help restore a sense of balance? I feel encouraged that my doctor observed and understood that much of what I'm experiencing right now is circumstantial. This, in turn, has brought out, seemingly, insurmountable stress to daily living.

Heading into July I made a request. I asked that we all make an effort to establish harmony in our day-to-day home life. Summer break from schools and reduced work hours due to slow season made it so the kids and I were constantly bickering. I had lost all patience. Our home environment had become tense; it seemed that everyone in the house was focused on making everything a point of contention. It really was becoming unbearable. Healthy rapport was thrown out the window.

I was bothered about anxiety symptoms rearing their heads. Escalating depression, well... that was distressing. Now that we made it through July, regardless of having abandoned all effort to be more considerate of each other, and I've done something to address the situations pertaining to my mental health, it is time to move forward.

How to do that?  First, try not to nag or display uneasiness.  I frequently remind housemates,"We are all adults here." I think I need to add, "Let's act like it."  I need to remember to voice my concerns as clear and concisely as possible; not drone on and on. Another thing I should work on is eating and sleep habits, and of course continue to take my meds as prescribed. Yeah, that seems reasonable.

So, baby steps, one day at a time, slow and steady... ugh, I hate all that. Take care of me is more to my liking.

More tomorrow.

An Admission

Sure, I'll admit it. I've been avoiding (or, more like, shying away from) posting an update on The Sadness *Wellness* Watch 2015 Page because, reasons. Maybe it's just that I haven't been at my computer when my brain kicks into gear and comes up with what to write. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, link over for Day Two update.

When I have been at my computer, I was doing stuff like this:

Lillian Carilo ‏@lcarilo  1h1 hour ago

Lillian Carilo retweeted Rob Hopwood

51 minutes ago

Lillian Carilo retweeted Rob Hopwood

Somebody... make it stop. *sigh* [on weeks long loop] August 1: It's Too Hot song by @hankgreen

Lillian Carilo added,

Rob Hopwood @RobHopwood

Mostly Sunny tomorrow! With a high of 108F and a low of 80F.

0 retweets0 favorites

Lillian Carilo ‏@lcarilo  2h2 hours ago

Watching a whole lotta @mental_floss on @YouTube; especially enjoying @ElliottcMorgan, @wheezywaiter & @johngreen HUGE faces on 50" tv

0 retweets0 favorites

Lillian Carilo ‏@lcarilo  3h3 hours ago

In my vehicle... RIGHT NOW... AND no a/c!!!

0 retweets0 favorites

Lillian Carilo ‏@lcarilo  5h5 hours ago

Simply put... #SUMMER2015!! Thank you, Italy. #ROCKIN1000 Musicians Play Foo Fighters: Learn To Fly at the Same Time http://nerdist.com/1000-musicians-play-foo-fighters-learn-to-fly-at-the-same-time/ …

Lillian Carilo ‏@lcarilo  5h5 hours ago

I liked a @YouTube video http://youtu.be/qD35ASXHmsU?a  Per Cesena & #Rockin1000

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Back tomorrow, Saturday, August 1, 2015 with: An Assessment