Monday, January 26, 2015

Project: Restoration

It's a monumental task working to re-establish some sense of peace of mind after financial devastation caused by years long joblessness and trauma that comes with loss of proper health care management for chronic conditions.  Adapting to fact that we now live in area of the country that we had only planned to return to occasionally for visits with families here, well, that's been a challenge. But the most challenging and frustrating is having to squeeze into a small house, were the only way to exist is to take the spot you've created (not necessarily comfortable) and sit there and hope everyone else stays in their spot in order for you to carve out some "me" time.  My youngest has the good fortune of having a room to herself to do homework in peace and not be distracted by pets or noise.  My husband comes home and camps out on the bed in our room.  The living room is reserved for my son, our dogs and myself.

This may seem a bit like a routine; a sense of calm existence, but no.  I'm still waiting for a pattern to develop, but schedules don't seem to allow for this.  Add to this, occasional attention focused on elderly mom's medical needs, and stress hits an all new high that I'm just not accustomed to.  These days I'm feeling crowded, and others are starting to notice that I'm not as eager to engage in conversation.  Even family-time television viewing of favorite shows is getting old.  But I have to constantly remind myself that I must be grateful for roof over our heads and a place to keep our belongings safe... we were spared having to live in our vehicle.  Two years go, a new job for my husband when we arrived, and being able to rely on family to take us in indefinitely when times were so desperate we had to ask for room on spare beds, sofas or floors, brought tremendous relief.

It seems my only established habits are, writing nightly blog posts, creating daily vlogs (trying anyway), YouTube channel viewing, then bedtime well after 2:00 am.  This is not good.

What is good is that my sense of humor seems to be intact and that I can enjoy the comedy shows I like, and that I can still laugh at myself.

I give you now, my new hobby/habit... today's vlog:

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